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The Light's Dimmed

The Light's Dimmed
A conversation with my only muse, my only love

She says "The light's dimmed"
"I'm sorry", I say to my true love
So many thoughts in my mind
As I look above

It rained today 
like tears I say,
Like tears on a newborn's open grave
Although memories flee from me, 
It's them I still forgave

The ideas in me are thundering
Like a storm of dreams at night
She wonders what I'm wondering
I see it in her sight
She sees in me
I have something
That I've just got to write

But with no napkin 
And with no a pen, 
I see that she implores
I say to her I'll be alright 
I'll be alright I swore

I just smile as she smiles
We smile a little more
I say "Really
its okay, 
I've lost my thoughts before.

I wrote for you so long ago
That it seems I never did
With a love for you just like my pain
The pain I've always hid

In love with you for all of time
In the time that I'm amid
I try to make what I've done
And what's been done undid

I wrote a poem so long ago
Before I ever wrote
I gave it to you while in class
In passing like a note

I gave you words that were mine
Every line by line
I gave you words that were mine
So what, they didn't rhyme

So what, some words were spelt
Kinda, sorta wrong
So what, the poem to you
Seemed so very long

I wrote you what I felt
I always write just how I feel
I play the dreams I'm dealt
And you were always real

And now I've written more
Since my light was shining bright
The first time that I wrote
So long ago that night

Now I've written words 
of heroes and of saints
Of an angel's world-
The hell of love's restraint

Now I've written words 
of blind men having dreams
Of loves that come apart 
so sadly at the seams

But all of you, they always were
Every single line
Every stanza's breathed the words
I wish that you were mine

The light's dimmed 
But I swear
To me it's only bright
I don't even read the words
It's them I only write

For I cant read within the dark 
Within my darkest nights
My dreams of you have taken me
And taken all my sight

The light's dimmed,
But I swear
To me it's only bright
I only write of you
Of you, I only write

I said, "I only write of you,
so I don't need much light."

My Eyes Whispered

My Eyes Whispered

My eyes whispered to me
That they saw an angel-
An angel so appealing
They could not believe
My eyes saw her
And my heart agreed

My mind spoke the same
My mind said "She spoke again."
In a dream we had 
So far within
And before we were woken
He said she told him this
That she's beautifully broken-
A life remiss

"She's so beautifully spoken."
My soul admits
That "If she's beautifully broken,
I hope she's never fixed."

My legs- they told me
That they're ready to die
If they have to run to her
Along with I

My arms- they told me
That they're ready to fly
If the impossible should ever
Be worth a try

My dreams all pledged
"We'll never sleep
Until one of us 
comes true for you"

My heart proclaimed
"I'll forever beat.
Till she's ours, I'll live
If that's what I'm forced to do."

So with every part of me,
I searched the world 
Through all the light 
And the blinding dark
And like a dream one day 
Somehow we weren't 
Somehow we weren't so far apart

My soul told me
"I know that's her" 
He swore it you 
Who stood by my heart
But my heart said nothing
Though close you were
He never told me
We weren't far apart

My heart's transfixed 
Within your glare
Your eyes on him 
Within a stare
My eyes whispered 
"None compare
We've found our angel
And she's right there."

The Awe of a Yes

The Awe of a Yes

I first saw her under the mistletoe - 
Sitting, waiting, hoping, forsaken, hiding, crying, or dying
I wasn't sure which then, 
and to tell you the truth
I still don't know to this day.
All I know is that was the best chance I've ever taken
and that the first kiss is the greatest
and that no one's ever kissed me that way.

The awe of a yes I must confess
has brought me here today

And now we've carved 
our names in
a tree once again
We never let it erode away
Right by our tree
"Will you marry me?"
I don't know what she's going to say

The awe of a yes, the rejection of no
I hope she remembers our mistletoe

The walk down the aisle's
like us walking miles
I just can't wait for it to end
Just so you can say
the answer you may
I'm waiting for our life to begin

The awe of yes, the rejection of no
The guess of maybe's
crippling blow
The indifference of sure
you get and you've got
With a smile, I've got a million thoughts
I think it's a coin flip-
Will marriages last
I think we'll make it
but I just had to ask
I think I was blind 
before I saw you
And deaf 'fore I heard
you speak like you do
And nothing was felt
without you in my veins
And all I wonder
is do you feel the same?

The awe of yes, the rejection of no
The guess of maybe's
crippling blow
The indifference of sure
you get and you've got
Nothing is worse than that or why not?
All of the nods 
and shakes of the head
The body language 
I bodily dread
The petulant yeas and certainly nots
Sometimes life's
Not like you thought

But sometimes it is
Love's perfect and kind
You see all the love 
that's always been blind
You need nothing else
You just love when you're near her
The I love you's left 
on the steamed bathroom mirror

Where only death 
could ever 
take her away
You ask the doctor to say what he may
The awe of a yes
The rejection of no
The guess of maybe's 
crippling blow
The petulant yea's and certainly not's
I dont know's indecisively thought
I hear an all right
so ostensibly said
Finality's more
than the no up ahead

I saw her under the mistletoe- 
Sitting, waiting, forsaken, standing, hiding, crying, or dying
It doesn't really matter anymore I guess
as by her hospital bed I pray

The awe of a yes, I must confess
has brought me here today

To Live Forever

To Live Forever

I wish we could live forever
but forever never comes
Still, as long as we're together
we'll always see the sun

Time is always coming 
till all our days are done
But for now we're still running- 
I hope we'll always run

My memory is fading
I can't remember everyone
The end is always waiting
and we can't always run

But I can still remember 
our first time dancing in the sun
I remember once again
I remember how we sung

And with your wrinkled skin
upon my wrinkled skin,
you make me feel so young

Although fragile we both are-
so fragile in the dark
They say we're fragile now,
but we were fragile from the start

So please take my fragile hand
and take my fragile heart
and walk with me at dawn
through all the fragile dark

Let's be together now
so then we'll never part
I wish we could live forever-
forever in our hearts

A Love Song To No One

A Love Song To No One

I'm standing on the edge of a night
walking in the moonlight alone
I wish I had someone tonight
I wish I weren't here on my own

But all I feel on my skin is the wind
I'm singing a love song to no one again

I'm standing on the edge of a dream
wondering why you never came
Another dinner without you,
finding love's just a game

I've lost with no one on the other side of the candlelight
I'm singing a love song to no one with all my might

I'm standing on the edge of a morning
I've been dreaming of you
Wherever you are and whoever you are, 
won't you please come true?

I've done so many things I'll never understand
I'm singing a love song to no one as loud as I can

And I'll sing with all my heart
I'll sing with all of my pride
I'll sing alone in the dark
with all I have inside

although I know you not at all
But maybe by the end
By the end of all my singing,
maybe I'll know your love by then

I'm singing a love song to no one 
once again...



These cries ease my weeping;
still while drowning I see
there's no use for shore no more
This water's for me

But these flies cease my sleeping;
so stranded I be
I've landed before the shore's
ever touched the sea

It seems I've strived for death
I've been deprived of breath
til it came to me

My voice is wrought,
but still I say 
a loving thought
that's blown away

No choice I've got
then to swim my days
til I also rot
and am blown away

I think of you
while stranded, 
I've demanded nothing but what I do
I've received so many dreams,
but not one that's true

The Mad Poet

The Mad Poet
Truthfully, I only feel comfortable around myself

So dark inside an empty room
So mad inside, to pen enslaved
fortune once is second doom
the room indeed his only grave

With mighty pen, he has a sword
With all the world alone to save
Line by line and word by word
All of him alas he gave

Of course he's mad as only words
are the part of him that ever rhymed
Forced to write down every word-
Reminded of a time

that only tore his world apart
Torn just like he's always been
Far before his poem would start, 
His poem would have an end

So stricken of his perfect script,
but still he has his perfect prose
He finds within reclusiveness
The happiness he knows

He'd always write within the dark
To write and write and never read
With blistered fingers as his heart
He wrote with pain that let him bleed

With blood upon him, torn apart
Through everything, he'd never cede
For he always wrote within his heart
What's in his heart indeed

has spilled upon the paper seen
as canvas for a weary dream
That woke him from a heaven's scene
Through hell, his writing's still serene:

With ill-intent, I've gone and went
OuT mY MiNd and back again
I'm heaven-sent without a hint
Of what I have to give within

Locked inside- these words in I
My dreams- they let me in
The only thing I have are dreams
The only key that's ever been

And so I've dreamed without a thing
To wake me once again
And so I've dreamed without a thing 
To wake me once again

So much to say in silence way
With no other way to show it
To die and die and still survive
Is the life of the mad poet...

what's above the sky

Only my soul and I 
know what's above the sky,
but I won't live long enough 
to see me die.

Maybe there's more to us
than meets the eye,
but I've never met more than us
although I've tried.

A Burning Church

A Burning Church

The choir's voices singing
through the church's doors
They locked them from the inside
so long ago before

they locked them from the outside,
but never did they scream
Too busy in their praying
Too busy to believe

there were crosses burning-
leaned against the door
Preacher spoke his sermon
from a pulpit's floor

Sunday school kept teaching
little boys and girls
as if they were beseeching
to have to leave the world

They sang inside the burning
church and you could hear
if you only listened
with your own two ears

Outside the culprits saying,
"We can hear a song
We can hear them praying
Maybe we were wrong?

We thought that they were lying-
lying all along
For never were they trying
to let us hear their song

Never were they trying"
The fire rages on
So slowly in their dying,
their voices in a song

"Never were they trying!"
lamented and withdrawn
On their knees and crying,
they start to sing along

This isn't just about religion, but about belief. Whether you believe there is or isn't a God, whether you believe in science, whether you believe in yourself, whether you believe in your family and friends, whether you believe in your children, or whether you believe in anything at all; it is perhaps best to believe in it so strongly that even if the walls fell down, you wouldn't lose that belief. i.e. Believe in yourself to the point that you succeed despite everything causing all prior doubters to believe in you as well ("they start to sing along"). But you must do so while giving others a chance to believe in you by not failing them with a lack of effort ("Never were they trying!") or by hypocritical behavior ("they locked them from the inside")--- consequently losing their trust. Faith is the strongest entity on earth, but only if you use it properly. So what do you believe in?

Aurora Borealis

Aurora Borealis (or the Northern Lights) is known as one of the most magnificent of natural phenomena. Auroral displays in the form of streamers, arcs, banks, and rays of various shades of light are caused by high-speed electrons and protons from the sun colliding with air molecules miles above the ground. From this we see that when two elements collide spontaneously at high speeds, the result is magnanimous and awe-inspiring. But in this world, electrons aren't the only things that collide- people as well collide in such magnanimous ways. And like the coming of dawn for the Aurora Borealis, every collision must eventually come to an end none more so than the spontaneous collisions. For it's often said and is more often so very true: "The things that begin spontaneously often end that way".

Aurora Borealis

Under a sky stripped of black,
the colors fell when first we'd kiss
Under we lie while on our backs
"Forever will be just like this"

Yellow's for that which makes you weep
Green is the dream that lets you sleep
Blue is the sadness as you wake
Red is the heart that has to break

In a wintery sky, we've got them all
In love, you and I forgot to fall
Under a big sky, we feel so small
You gave me a day, but I want them all

We're falling asleep side by side
Our day was a dream we'd live alive
But I find that I have all but died
Some dreams I'd die to survive

We saw each other at firstly sight
but you were gone by second glance
We'd fall asleep that first night
Some never get a second chance

Still on the list of things
I wouldn't do for love,
there's not a word
as I look above
to the northern sky
that you and I
one night had as all our own

The lighted sky
The sky that I
now every night watch alone

On my back I lie 
and never cry
Although the truth- to me- is sadly known
With no one here by my side
still I lie all alone

I say "She'll be back by the dawn.
It began too fast to have her gone"

Yellow's for that which makes me weep
Green is the dream that lets me sleep
Blue is the sadness as I wake
Red is my heart that had to break

I'll hold our day for all of time
as alone I lie, but "I don't mind"
As the sky I see - I look upon
the most beautiful things are never gone

For Puna