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051520

051520 (a)

I’m just a tear among the storm
along the lightning we adorn;
but I've used its pain to keep me warm
since the day that I was born
-----------
I'm just a year among an age
It isn't clear who owns this cage
But I'm here upon this stage
not to merely earn a wage
-----------
So this tear becomes some sweat,
though this year may die by morn
But that hasn't happened to me yet,
so I'll strive to *be* the storm



My first poem was written on May 15th, 1995. It was about basketball. Every year on that date since, I write another poem about where I am in my basketball life. The original is in some notebook somewhere, and I'll add it to the site one day. Click here to see others.


051520 (b)

They keep on dying
Oh, my dreams won't stay
Still I keep on trying
to play their way
But I don't know why all the losers win;
and I don't know what this loss has been
---
A broken heart
that's left for dead
is still the part
of me that's said
I don't think I'll ever pray again
And I don't think I'll ever play again
---
Still I crawl on
despite the scars
All we've got now
is who we are
I know that I must play within
And I know that I'm bound to win
---
They're all dreams now,
so let's not pretend
I've done things now
that I can't defend
But still I crawl on to play again
Through my will I crawl on... so far within
I don't know why all these losers win,
but I'm still here now... 
like I've always been. 


The Soldier's Weapon

The Soldier's Weapon

A rifle in his hands, courage in his heart
Bombs in the sky to start
his day once again, sayin' Amen
as havoc lights up the dark

A pistol at his side
He opens his eyes
From his knees, he stands to his feet
A Bible on the ground, the artillery's bound
to tide all that's bound to be wreaked

He dives on the ground
Throws a grenade that he's found
Havened under a broken-down Jeep
Surrounded by mines
He's trained in his mind
Towards the barrack, our soldier's leaped

Explosions around him
The soldiers have found him
They awake from shaking in sleep
All he has are bad dreams
that are what they seem
As he puts his shoes on his feet,

he takes out a picture
of the one that he loves
before the bombs would ever start
Before he picks up his rifle
or lays down his Bible,
he holds her picture so close to his heart.

So Serene

So Serene

So serene through the valley
walk the dead
"I'm alive" is all I say

I heard a scream from the alley,
turn my head
I can't believe I walked away

So a dream is more than in my mind
and my mind
is more than me

And I'm more than whatever's mine
if what's mine
is just a dream

So serene my sister
came to me
but nothing she would say

It's more than just
the pain in me
I can't believe I walked away

Candle

Candle

All that's left is some smoke on an unlit candle
and the memories of when I couldn't handle
never having my dreams come true.

And with a love so blind,
all the blind man was ever trying to find was you.

Time after time with all of his might
But now I've only found sight
as I see all my dreams will never again come true

And as the smoke so clearly blows,
in the wind I see an end
And Fate so clearly knows
our love that's never been
will never, ever be
and the truth of all my dreams
is they're just a world of lies
as destiny just dies
over in the corner weeping on its own

Such a cold world to have you cry and die alone

All that's left is some smoke and some breath
with which I once used to say
"I love you with all my might"
All that's left is a lonely candle
burnt down to the handle
Now I only have memories
of when that candle was my life

Just Dance

Love's in a picture waiting
to fall in a frame by your side
Broken glass outweighing
the brokenness of time
I've got so many scars in
my head, I'm out my mind
I've thrown the glass away, but
this picture's forever mine

If you've got the time, baby,
just know I've got the clock
If you're ever at my door, know
you don't even have to knock
We can run or fly, babe...
or we can crawl and walk
We can fly for hours
or we can merely talk

Or we can just dance
Baby, baby, just dance
We can do everything or nothing
or maybe we can just dance


I've got a picture and a dream
and a heart that's burning
and a telephone
that I'd love to hear you
on the other side yearning
when you're alone...
and I'm alone...
when we're alone

Your love's in the Scripture,
while you swear it isn't true
But you're an angel waiting
for a heaven you never knew
You made-out with my body,
now make-out with my mind

I want you every way, and
you can have it any time

Or we can just dance
Baby, baby, just dance
We can do everything or nothing
or maybe we can just dance


/// We had to shred the Bible / to add fire to the wood; / still they'd rather see us frozen / than really do some good. /// But it swore it would be liable / to do us all it could; / and what's more the pages chosen / were the ones misunderstood. ///

So maybe we should just dance
Baby, baby, just dance
We can do everything or nothing
or maybe we can just dance

Gait

Gait

I'm held across my time again-
unaware of where I've been
I've nailed a cross- another sin
like so many other men

As no man has ever been
lost within his own conceit
while upon the straightest road,
while upon its graveled street

I know I'm on this winding road,
not walking but meandering
Nothing but the sun above
Nothing but a shaded tree

Nothing but the darkness draped
over skies that were my day
Nothing but a little light
glinted gone the longest way

But I'm not the one I thought I'd be
I'm just the man that I've become
Simply for a yesterday,
I'd trade my every one

My tomorrows fallen to the ground-
dropped upon the graveled streets
I'm a vagabond who's never found
the person whom I've never seeked

I've heard them say to turn around
if the roads you're forced to walk upon
are wrong no matter how far down
you may have ever gone

But still I step another step
I always stay within my fated gait
Although I know I go and go-
making my own Fate

I've heard them say and say and say,
but they said it far too late
To fail at what you love before
you succeed at what you hate

My Scar

My Scar

With her hands, she broke my heart
but I just let it mend
I let it heal into a scar
to remind me once again
that you were here in my heart

Every now and then,
there's pleasure to look at scars
than the pain that had been

I Read a Book

I Read a Book

I woke up this morning and I read a book
with words I've never read standing before me
Then I take a look. They say you adore me
but it's only a book. And books start to bore me
especially when all they do is never come true

So in a world where we bleed what we dream,
the days- like thunder- go rolling by
And in a world where we want more than we need,
I wonder why I'm so ready to live that I could die

And so these words stand before me
just bleeding through the page
I can't read them anymore
no matter what they say
They've caused this blind man to squint and turn away

And like rain, my hopes fall down
and I just can't dance anymore
And like me, my dreams all drown
until I forget what I'm crying for

The rainbows aren't what they seem-
the sun just shades away
The rainbows are only in dreams
The sun shivers with your cold embrace

Won't you just hold me like you'll never leave?
Won't you just smile like we'll always be?
Won't you just shine like the stars in a space of sea?
Won't you just live, won't you just live with me?

I've mistaken my dreams for memories
I've never really had you
And I'm reading books of us like fantasies,
but the stories I read will never come true

And out of all the things I've ever wanted and never had-
more than anything, I want you.

The Flower in Compton

The Flower in Compton

I saw a flower in Compton-
down to its final breath -
spread a seed on the ground before its death
No eulogy whispered --- no tears, no shade
Just the thought that martyrs aren't born,
they're made

And so the seed grew up in Compton -
that which the concrete embraces
We see the sun still shines even in the worst of places

A flower's chosen by a lover,
and given to a girl
on a prom night to match her dress
And though the flower was weak
and drab in color,
no girl's ever been more in happiness

Hung flowers from the ceilings ---
they never do die
How to cheat death
is just to remember a time

Girl moves from Compton to Hollywood-
wants to never go back
But as she learns things aren't that different
on either side of the track,
she sits in her bed and thinks in her head
that she wants to go back

As she still keeps that flower
over her bed,
She remembers and she smiles through all the pain

And because she smiles
and a smile's the greatest of things,
we know that flower didn't die in vain

Spending Time

Spending Time
If I could spend my time with you,
I'd use all that I had
If I could buy my happiness,
I'd spend my money glad

I'd sell my soul and more
I'd spend all of my cash
If I could spend my time with you,
I'd give everything I had

If I could reach into my soul
like a pocket never torn
I would reach into my whole
and find pieces never lorn

If I could spend my time with you,
I'd buy all that I could
If I could spend my time with you,
just know that I would

If I could save my every hour,
I'd beg them from the curb
I would beg with all my power
for them to throw me all of theirs

If I could spend my time with you,
just know that I would splurge
I'd spend my every second
and I'd be spending all of theirs

I won't save it for a rainy day
I wouldn't pay back any loans
My debt I owe to myself
to never be alone

So if I could spend my time with you,
I'd spend my every dime
If I could spend it all on you,
I would spend all my time