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Why is it that 5 dolla can make someone holla?

Why is it that 5 dolla can make someone holla?

Recently I've been pondering some of life's absurdities and I've found that one of the most absurd things in our world is actually that which makes the world go 'round. No, it's not gravity. It's not love. It's money. The Almighty Dollar. Cash, currency, greenbacks, dough, bread, bucks, the Euro--- however you say it- however you spell it- however you spend it, save it, embezzle it, lose it, use it, or abuse it… It's everywhere and it means everything. Athletes make too much, teachers make too little, our wives throw too much of it away, and our kids think it grows on trees. But have you ever stopped idolizing money long enough to ask yourself the question why? Why is money so important? It's just paper and the coins are just little pieces of metal. And as irony has it, the coins are literally more valuable than the actual "value" of the paper and the ink that constitute the bill.

So why is it that money is worth more than it physically is without all the ink, numbers, symbols, faces, seals, signatures, and emblems? The answer, of course, is that the bills and coins are merely representations of their corresponding worth in gold or some other valuable commodity accumulated elsewhere. Now, that I understand. That makes sense. That, I have no qualms with. But what I do have a problem with is why are gold and some of the other commodities so full of worth in the first place (that was a pun btw for gold's standing in the Olympics). Gold--- it's the most ductile and malleable metal on earth and it's corrosion-resistant (whatever that means). You can melt it, you can mold it, you can probably even slice it and dice it… but if it's this useful versatility that defines worth in the minds of governments around the world, there are a substantial amount of other metals and elements that serve the world a far greater good and do it in a more efficient fashion. But I guess gold is fairly rare as well. So if that's the case, Ireland should be the wealthiest country on earth with its bountiful supply of four-leaf clovers, but we all know that's not the case (sorry Ireland). So it's probably safest to say it's a combination of both usefulness and rarity, but I think that's just a fool's justification of the situation. What I really think has given gold it's fame and high place in our societies all around the world for all these centuries is the fact that it's shiny. Yes, shine. Glossy, gleaming, sparkly, glittery, polished, shimmering, glistening.

Allow me to elaborate… Civilizations have been around for thousands upon thousands of years; and very Darwin-like, the societies with the best designs survived. The civilizations without order failed. The cultures without education soon died out. Societies around the world have non-coincidentally survived in similar fashions evidentially shown by the commonalities found basically everywhere. The successful societies around the world are comprised of the same basic features- chief among them are some form of government, social hierarchies, and the highly infamous (or merely famed) monetary unit.
I'm sure it started off as trading chickens and cows for various services (and that might still be the case in some parts of the world), but over the years the need for a much more dependable, government-controlled measure of worth arose. Silver, gold, platinum, and diamonds were all suitable choices; but as we've become more domesticated and advanced, certain technological advancements have placed uranium in the mix along with oil and other subsidies that make our various "motors" run. But far before that first engine needed to be turned on, there was an inexplicable need for "the shiny". Now, of course, the ancient civilizations had an array of excuses for this petty enthrallment. Their minds were far less developed than ours, they were legitimately unaware of the power of the other resources, and they were in desperate need to get some form of an initial monetary system in place. But what's our excuse? Why do we still place so much stock in the shiny.

I don't know whether our bling bling fascination is barbaric, childlike, or just plain "girly"; but I do know it defies and contradicts everything a positive evolutionary process is meant to entail. Governments depend on us to be na├»ve, thoughtless, and ignorant of the worthlessness of gold in order to run and maintain a safe and sound society. If everyone were to simultaneously realize that shiny objects were worth less and were less useful than oil, wood, coal, chickens, and cows; our monetary system would fail, our governments would lose power, and basically all hell would break loose (a la the Fight Club philosophy). And we all know we can't have that happen. So next time you see a rapper give those Almighty props to the bling bling or a woman plead for a diamond ring or a soldier die over the fight for oil or a homeless person starve due to the fact that he just doesn't have enough pieces of copper with some dead man's face on it to buy a meal; just say to yourself we need things to be this way. Cash, currency, greenbacks, dough, bread, bucks, the Euro--- however you say it- however you spell it- however you spend it, save it, embezzle it, lose it, use it, or abuse it… It's everywhere and it means everything. It's not gravity. It's not love. It's the Almighty dollar that has always made and will always make the world go 'round… no matter how absurd that might seem.